'Twas A Feeling I Had

something happened today that shook me up from my denial that im not getting any younger. ok, i noe its abit contradictory cos i keep saying im old and everything BUT i've always only referred to my age. wat i fail to realise is that the body and health deteriorate in the process. pretty obvious to everyone else but me. its like im so used to associating my apparent youth (ppl keep telling me i look 18) to my health. cos ive never done much to keep my body fit and healthy. i seldom give much tot to wat i consume, the amt of calorie and fat intake and wat not. and i hardly exercise, apart from walking. and all that could possibly explain wat happened.

i was commuting to work on an overcrowded train as per usual. had to stand since all seats were taken. upon entering the train, i buried my nose in my book. yes, dean koontz again. everything was as per normal before i began to feel some slight discomfort at ang mo kio as more ppl squeezed themselves into the train. so i kept my book and tried to get more air. but the discomfort persisted and breathlessness ensued. when the train reached novena, my vision started to blacken at the perimeters and some invisible hand seemed to turn down the volume on my music player. i started to panick, but all i could do was tightened my grip on the handle to avoid the embarrassment of collapsing. "will get off after novena to get air" was wat i told myself. but novena never came. i did not see, was unable to see the cabin doors opening. all i heard was the intercom announcing the next stop. newton. orchard. somerset. as i began to tell myself im gonna die, my vision brightened abruptly and i could once again make out wat joss stone was singing. i also became aware that most commuters had alighted and i was still standing, gripping onto the handle in cold sweat but very much alive, thank god.

i tell u, that was the longest ride. ever. and a traumatising one too. the repercussion is apparent as i kinda get that breathless feeling whenever the train approaches novena. its like i dunno when it will happen again and its damn scary. i think i seriously need to go for a health checkup soon and watch my diet or do something. and if its not my health, then it could be due to the start of a brand new week. my, tok abt monday blues.